Awkwardness- Coffee Shop Style

I saw you at the coffee shop today. We talked and exchanged a few nice words, like neighbors do.
[If your house burned down, I would stand across the street- watching it burn with you. Maybe I would give you some furniture and maybe I would let you crash on my sofa].
-I feel a bit like an expensive insurance company-

Maybe it's a simple "hello" and "how are you" from your perspective- all is well and you go about your day- not a second thought given to the girl eating the bagel and drinking the orange juice.

But when I see you, I see red. I think red. I see your living room. My regret. The pain I went through that just numbed you to the point of absence.

What a big, festering, bloody mess we made.

You were important. I was important. You were a rebound. I was the same.

We are not friends. Don't even try to pretend.

"You look angry" you say to me now.

"I am just FINE" -most obvious lie. Ever.

I am. I am angry. I am hurt. I am broken.

We aren't friends anymore, kid.
Neighbors. That's how we know each other.

A wave on our way to work.

Someday, I will need to borrow a cup of sugar, can I call you?

Cover Ups

I recently had a tattoo covered up. The tattoo that I had covered was a symbol of my marriage- it was a sparrow carrying wedding rings. I got it when I was 19 years old to celebrate my engagement. It cost $75, is about 8" from wing to wing, and was done in the shadiest tattoo joint I have ever stepped into in the North Georgia mountains. I almost passed out when I got it, and I almost immediately regretted it. Even though I was about to get married, the tattoo just seemed too...permanent.

When I told my friends about my plan to cover it up, they were split almost 50/50 (not that others' opinions have EVER made me think twice about a decision that I feel strongly about). Some said it was too soon, and that I should wait until everything was final to cover it. Others thought that it was a good idea and some suggested that I should make it funny. I decided to wait a bit AND not do anything as a joke. Joke tattoos are best reserved for drunken frat boys anyway.

The truth is- it is a shitty tattoo, with colors that I HATE (pink, teal, blue). It reminds me a lot of an airbrushed Spring Break '98 t-shirt. And no one wants to wear their senior year t-shirt forever.